


it's not a double date

by arhat (plantmajor), plantmajor



Series: who gave lance a phone [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Memes, Texting, chat fic, keith doesn't know how to use emojis, pure meme fuel, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:39:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantmajor/pseuds/arhat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantmajor/pseuds/plantmajor
Summary: How formal is Olive Garden?(4:47 PM)That was random(4:51 PM)I would not expect that to come out of your mouth pidge(4:51 PM)Probably Lance, maybe Keith, but not you(4:52 PM)(or, the one where Hunk and Pidge are tired of Lance and Keith being so oblivious to each other's feelings, ft. a wild Shiro)





	it's not a double date

**Author's Note:**

> the key!!!!
> 
> \- italics and underlined is pidge  
> \- italics is hunk  
> \- underlined is shiro  
> \- bold is lance  
> \- bold and italics is keith

_How formal is Olive Garden?_

(4:47 PM)

 

That was random

(4:51 PM)

 

I would not expect that to come out of your mouth pidge

(4:51 PM)

 

Probably Lance, maybe Keith, but not you

(4:52 PM)

 

_Don’t patronize me, Shiro_

(4:52 PM)

 

Is that even the correct use of that word?

(4:53 PM)

 

_Shh._

(4:53 PM)

 

_And by the way, I haven’t been outside in two days nor to Olive Garden since I was like_

(4:53 PM)

 

_an embryo or something._

(4:53 PM)

 

Why are you even going, then? 

(4:54 PM)

 

_Lance and Keith are dragging Hunk and I with this ‘regular friendly lunch’ with Keith._

(4:54 PM)

 

Oh 

(4:55 PM)

 

So like a double date? 

(4:55 PM)

 

_It’s not a double date, we’re just third and fourth wheeling._

(4:55 PM)

 

_Those two boys have got it in his mind that if we’re not there to shut them up, they’ll say something to their big fat gay crushes and ruin their big fat gay chances at a big fat gay relationship with each other._

(4:56 PM)

 

Lance asked Hunk and Keith asked you? 

(4:56 PM)

 

_Basically._

_(4:57 PM)_

 

Are they really that oblivious? 

(4:57 PM)

 

_Keith and Lance are saved as Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum in my contacts for a reason._

(4:58 PM)

 

Pidge 

(4:58 PM)

 

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It’s rude._

(4:59 PM)

 

_You’re like the living embodiment of Captain America._

(4:59 PM)

 

That was kinda random 

(5:01 PM)

 

_Eh._

(5:01 PM)

 

_Kinda makes sense._

(5:02 PM)

 

_ Steve always says ‘Language!!!!!” even though he curses like a sailor _

(5:02 PM)

 

_And you literally have Keith and Lance saved as Kevin and Malone respectively_

(5:03 PM)

 

Fine, yeah but I dont curse THAT much 

(5:04 PM)

 

_Like, the other day, Matt shouted FUCK because he stubbed his toe and you told him to watch his language even though an hour earlier you had burned yourself on the stove and immediately cursed so much that I heard your neighbor from three doors down start gasping._

(5:06 PM)

 

That doesnt count!! 

(5:07 PM)

 

_And why is that?_

(5:07 PM)

 

Burns hurt more than stubbing your toe 

(5:07 PM)

 

_Well...._

(5:07 PM)

 

_Remember in your senior year, when Matt came to school with foot brace for a week or two?_

(5:08 PM)

 

???? yeah 

(5:08 PM)

 

Didn’t he break it in like a motorcycle accident? what does that have to do with this 

(5:09 PM)

 

_HAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT WHAT HE TOLD YOU_

(5:10 PM)

 

_THAT HE BROKE IT FROM FALLING OFF A MOTORCYCLE? THE GUY CAN’T EVEN RIDE A REGULAR BIKE_

(5:11 PM)

 

wait what 

(5:11 PM)

 

_He actually broke it from stubbing his toe too hard._

(5:12 PM)

 

_I was there when it happened it was really funny._

(5:12 PM)

 

Are you 

(5:13 PM)

 

Are you actually serious 

(5:13 PM)

 

_I’m not screwing with you, Shiro. My brother, Matthew Holt, the second smartest person in the Holt family, broke his toe by stubbing it too hard on the side of the door. He was in a lot of pain_

(5:14 PM)

 

Thank you for this information it really helps a lot 

(5:15 PM)

 

_You’re welcome, Mr. Rogers._

(5:15 PM)

 

-.- 

(5:15 PM)

 

_Shiro oh my god_

(5:16 PM)

 

_don’t use that emoticon. we are modern people. It’s not 2013 anymore._

(5:16 PM)

 

_——-.......——_

(5:17 PM)

 

_Shiro no_

(5:17 PM)

 

—-.................—- 

(5:18 PM)

 

_Forget it. I’ll ask Allura what to wear tonight._

(5:19 PM)

 

You sure about that? 

(5:19 PM)

 

With asking Allura about what to wear? 

(5:20 PM)

 

Are you sure????? 

(5:20 PM)

 

I still have pictures from last time 

(5:20 PM)

 

_Shit, you’re right._

(5:21 PM)

 

_That was a horrid day. Quite possibly the worst of my life._

(5:22 PM)

 

You tried on ONE dress, Katie 

(5:23 PM)

 

_YOU HAVE THE PICTURES. THAT DRESS WAS HORRIBLE. I LOOKED LIKE A KNOCK OFF AMERICAN GIRL DOLL WITH CHOPPY HAIR_

(5:25 PM)

 

**2 be fair you always look like a knock off american girl doll with choppy hair**

(5:25 PM)

 

_Lance, you little shit._

(5:26 PM)

 

**whaat?? what did i do ;) <3**

(5:27 PM)

 

_I’m going to decapitate you and put your head on a stick like the early medieval English Government and wave it in front of your weeping family._

(5:28 PM)

 

**y i k e s**

(5:28 PM)

 

**that’s my cue to nyoooom away**

(5:29 PM)

 

That’s a bit harsh, Pidge 

(5:30 PM)

 

_You know what’s ‘harsh’, Shiro?_

(5:30 PM)

 

_Making me watch them make lovey-dovey eyes while I’m trying to eat food._

(5:30 PM)

 

_Like, really? RIGHT in front of my salad?_

(5:30 PM)

 

_it’s really an outrage_

(5:31 PM)

 

_lance tells everyone that he’s super smooth when it comes to dates but it’s Not True At All_

(5:31 PM)

 

_i had to cancel a date with shay for this_

(5:32 PM)

 

_pigeon and i don’t deserve this_

(5:32 PM)

 

_We most certainly don’t_

(5:33 PM)

 

Why are you guys even chatting about it on this chat?? lance and Keith are in it 

(5:34 PM)

 

_exactly_

(5:34 PM)

 

_Exactly_

(5:34 PM)

 

_We’re pissed about their reaction towards this situation and we’re letting them k n o w._

(5:35 PM)

 

_like………... c’mon.._

(5:35 PM)

 

_go on a date by yourselves guys_

(5:36 PM)

 

then why are you guys even going?? :/// 

(5:36 PM)

 

_they’re being idiots and ignoring their love but lance is my bro,,,, always be there for him <33333 _

(5:37 PM)

 

_Blackmail Material._

(5:37 PM)

 

There are two types of people 

(5:38 PM)

 

also 

(5:39 PM)

 

Why didn’t keith ask me to go with him??? 

(5:40 PM)

 

_Would you want your paternal figure who is basically a Craig Cahn clone to go with you on an awkward date?_

(5:41 PM)

 

_the answer is no_

(5:41 PM)

 

**_the answer is always no_ **

(5:41 PM)

 

Keith what 

(5:42 PM)

 

_have you been here the whole time_

(5:43 PM)

 

**_i had nothing to say to y’all_ **

(5:43 PM)

 

_Pfffffh_

(5:44 PM)

 

**_see you later_ **

(5:45 PM)

 

_k bye space nico di angelo_

(5:45 PM)

 

**_. ._ **

**_^_ **

**_-—_ **

(5:48 PM)

 

_Keith. What the fuck is that_

(5:49 PM)

 

**_an emoji. you told me to start using them_ **

(5:50 PM)

 

_yeah i did but What The Fuck Is That_

(5:50 PM)

 

**_an emoji_ **

(5:50 PM)

 

_I_

(5:51 PM)

 

_I can’t deal with this right now._

(5:51 PM)

 

_Not only did you type it out, it took you a full THREE minutes to do it._

(5:52 PM)

 

_Why must I always be the most intellectual out of all in my friend groups?_

(5:53 PM)

 

**_????_ **

(5:54 PM)

 

_rude_

(5:54 PM)

 

Pidge.. 

(5:54 PM)

 

_I’ll wear my sweats to Olive Garden_

(5:55 PM)

 

_Thanks for some shitposting material instead of an actual answer_

(5:56 PM)

 

_always, pidgey_

(5:56 PM)

 

**_Wh_ **

(5:57 PM)

 

Tell me how it goes, guys 

(5:57 PM)

 

_Bye bye_

(5:58 PM)

 

_c u l8r_

(5:58 PM)

 

**_okay 1) i am literally IN this chat_ **

(5:59 PM)

 

**_2) what’s wrong with my emoji???_ **

(6:00 PM)

 

_Jesus fuck_

(6:01 PM)

 

_Call me_

(6:01 PM)

 

**_.     ._ **

**_^_ **

**_0     ?_ **

(6:03 AM)

 

_Tell matt to arrange my funeral_

(6:03 AM)


End file.
